I am very excited to be sharing my first “Mom to Mom” article with you. In our “Mom to Mom” section, we get to meet a fellow “Mom in the Making” and hear what’s going on in her world. Today we have the pleasure of meeting a very special friend of mine that I have had the honor of knowing for several years now. We met years ago on a course, and she somehow crept up beside me and said (in a creepy tone) “I’ve seen you around, and I have always wanted to meet you, my boyfriend and I call you the Funky Girl !” (ha ha). How could you not want to be friends with someone who introduces herself like that ? Carmia aka Mia has the best introductions. If not memorable ones! She has always brought a smile to my face through her genuine, sincere, and loving nature. I know that she has touched the hearts of many that have come across her path and that’s why I wanted to start this section with her.
- My name is Carmia Leao but my friends call me Mia.
- I am married to Sergio Leao Co owner of Fusion floors, we have been married for 5 years.
- I have two beautiful children Jesse (20 months) and Giana (3 months old) their age difference is a year and a half.
- I am currently a stay home mom.
I am at Carmia’s house, busy doing her make up for her first date night since having 3 month old Giana. She is very excited as she will be celebrating hers and Sergio’s 5 year wedding anniversary this evening (Congrats guys!) . While I am doing her make up, we are recording her thoughts and views on “mom hood”.
Tell us a little bit about the season that you are in?
At the moment I am a stay home mom with my daughter Giana (3 months) while Jesse (20 months) my first born attends Daycare. Financially it is a bit tight, but I am hoping to start part time work when Giana is four months old. Which means both children will be attending Daycare. The thought of Daycare can be nerve wracking for first time moms, because you wonder and worry if other people aka “crazy people” will be able to look after your kids! What do you mean “Crazy people” Mia? As in the crazy kids make them crazy at Daycare (ha ha) . But after awhile you and your child get used to it (Daycare) , and it becomes a blessing to both mom and child. Jesse comes home happy, which makes me happy.
How does having a second child compare to having the first child?
With the first child, you are overwhelmed in general. You are adjusting to new sleeping patterns, you’re feeding on demand,your body is healing from giving birth and your boobs are adjusting to breastfeeding. In the beginning (first few weeks) you feel like its never ending, you start thinking “is this how my life is going to be like forever?” It starts to effect how you feel; you start feeling a bit down, and despondent. But then with Giana, I knew that the “beginning phase” would pass. Which made me more relaxed, knowing that it’s just a phase that would eventually pass. And that season is gradually passing by, for example my husband and I waited three months before going on our first date night! (Which is tonight woohoo). Just keep reminding yourself that it will pass, and your baby will settle into a routine when they are ready.
“The Balancing Act”
The biggest challenge at the moment is to give Giana and Jesse equal attention. Sergio and I will “Tag Team”, and swap kids. For example Sergio will fetch Jesse from Daycare. Then when Jesse is home I will feed him while Sergio gives Giana a bottle. Sergio will then bath Jesse, and I will get Jesse ready for bed. Its a juggling act. (Sounds like you are rocking it Team Leao!)
“Intimacy & Self image”
Another challenge is to keep the romance alive, especially when you’ve had an exhausting day. But sometimes you need to just “take one for the team” (haha) and mentally prepare yourself for “sexy times” . While the baby is asleep quickly polish up ladies – trim downstairs, put some shimmer lotion on and something cute to wear, you may not “feel” like it. BUT it will be so rewarding for both you and your husband. To add to this, I find that I am constantly working on my “self confidence”. I often don’t feel sexy with my “mommy body“. I keep reminding myself that my husband still thinks I’m sexy even though my boobs might look like “cones” at the moment. Sometimes I wish we could see ourselves the way our husbands see us, and stop being so hard, and so critical on ourselves.
“Getting out vs Cabin Fever”
Something else that I find quite challenging, is trying not to loose my mind while being indoors 24/7 . I am quite a social person and I like being around people . I make sure that Giana and I get out of the house to baby friendly places ; Tygervalley has the best baby changing facilities for feeding and changing, Damhuis restaurant in Melkbos is a favourite, and I love going to the Mugg n Bean by the Paddocks, if it is a nice warm day we will go to Green Point park. Theres something about going out and getting out of the house.
For me one of the biggest blessings is knowing that your children are a gift from God. It’s awesome to know that you can pour Gods love into them! Another blessing about being a mom, is when you and your husband witness your children doing something funny or something cute. Those moments are special because you know that they are YOURS!
Advice for other moms :
- Make sure that your relationship with your husband is healthy, invest in it, cherish it, and look after each other especially in challenging seasons, and um “sexy times” is a must!!!
- Stay connected with other moms, meet up regularly and share mom stories and encourage one another!
- Make sure you get out of the house with your baby, go for a walk around the block or go out to the shops. The more you do it the more confident you will become when cruising out and about with your baby.
- Don’t let mommy guilt dictate you, decide what works best for you and your family and just go with it. So if that means introducing a formula bottle sooner than what you originally thought for personal reasons then do it – you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.
- Remind yourself that this is just a season, you will go on date nights again, you will be able to sleep for longer at night again, it will happen.
- Be patient and be present in the moment with your baby. They grow up so quickly!
Carmia’s make up and hair is done, and she is looking gorgeous! Before I go , we quickly take a few fun pics ! You can see that this lady somehow manages to balance being there for both of her children. She knows when to laugh at herself, and when to laugh with her kids. She is real and honest in her approach to mom hood, and I just LOVE that about her! Carmia I hope you had some “sexy times” !